Communicating Effectively in Intimate Relationships: Continued

Last time I wrote about communicating in intimate relationships, I shared about “I” statements and their positive influence on conversations with loved ones. This is when we share how we are feeling, and sharing why we feel that way without inserting blame. This can allow a person to more clearly share what is important to them. For the person receiving what is being shared, a skill that comes in handy is reflective listening.

Reflective listening, or reflection, is a technique that helps one become a better listener, and provides clarity in conversation. When a person shares something with you, the listener reflects back what they heard them say in the listeners words. Doing so encourages the person listening to stay present in the conversation, while the person sharing gets the opportunity to clarify, if need be.

Example:

Person sharing: “I’ve been feeling lonely lately with how much you’ve been working. I wish we had some more time together.”

Person listening: “I hear you saying that my working so many hours has been having an effect on you because you’re alone more often, and that you want us to have more time together.”

If you want to be a better listener or want to see how this practice may have an impact on your communication, try it out with your partner, friend or family member. Consider how this technique could improve your communication as an individual and within your relationships.